When we communicate, 80% of this is done through body language. If you watch a movie, when the actors deliver their lines they also have to deliver the right body language. If this is not done successfully, we don’t believe the words that are coming out of their mouths. This applies to us too. When you are chatting up a hot woman at the bar, your body language is leaning towards the door; this is indicating that you feel uncomfortable despite being really interested. So sometimes our body language can conflict with how we actually feel, without us even being aware of it. When it comes to body language, simply avoiding the most common mistakes and replacing them with more deliberate and confident movements will make a big difference and can help you give off the rights signs. So remember, it’s not just what you say; it’s how you say it and what your body is saying too.
Avoiding Eye Contact
What it says about you: You lack confidence, you are nervous and uncomfortable.
This is the most common body language mistake. This is because we generally feel we come across too intense and weird if we spend 20 minutes straight gazing into the eyes of our date. We aren’t saying that you should stare for long periods of time, as this can make other feel uncomfortable. However, spend less time looking at the floor and more time looking into her eyes. This not only signals your confidence, but you will come across as an intent listener who is engaged in the conversation.
What it says about you: You are un-authoritative, un-aware and you lack confidence.
A confident man always stands with his shoulders straight and his head up. When standing stationary, place your feet at shoulder width and lean slightly forward. Pull your shoulders slightly forward as well, as this can make you appear more masculine. Ensure your head and spine is straight too. When you are sat down, don’t slouch like you would at home in your boxers playing Halo. Instead, sit upright but comfortably and face your date – you will appear authoritative and relaxed.
What it says about you: You are nervous and unsure.
Stop fidgeting! It does nothing but make you look completely uncomfortable. If you’re on a date, it could also signal that you are not enjoying her company. If you naturally fidget, practice sitting with your hands firmly by your side, or clasp them on your lap if it’s more comfortable. Also try gesturing with purpose, this will counter act your fidgeting and you will seem comfortable and in-control.
Remaining Completely Still
What it says about you: You are boring, unenthusiastic and nervous.
When you are chatting up a woman, don’t stand rigidly. Move around a little. No, we are not suggesting you start break dancing or do a set of press-ups, but gesturing or tilting your head slightly to appear interested in the conversation will help you look dynamic and confident.
Keeping your Hands in your Pocket
What it says about you: You are uninterested and nervous.
The solution? Take your hands out of your pocket! One hand is acceptable, as long as the other hand is gesturing. Both hands in your pocket can make you look like you are trying to close in on yourself and disappear.
What it says about you: You are unnatural, over-prepared and false.
We have mentioned above that gestures can help you appear confident and engaged, but don’t overdo it. Otherwise you could look like a bad politician – over confident and contrived. This, you may be surprised to hear, does not turn women on.
Tapping Feet and other Annoying Movements
What it says about you: You are nervous, inpatient and worried.
Toe-tapping, over touching your face or moving your leg up and down are usually signs that you are worried. Not only does it make you look nervous, you could appear disinterested and the woman you’re talking to could find it really annoying. Pay attention and try to catch yourself in the act.
Use your body as a Communication Tool
Dynamic and powerful body language will help you appear confident, interesting and in-control. Focus on your body language and make sure your movements or gestures are deliberate. If you walk over to women with your shoulders slouched, looking down at the ground while muttering your words – women are going to respond with similar body language. If you are unsure of how you present yourself, why not invite an escort in Kent for a drink? She will be able to see how you hold yourself and spot any annoying gestures you do that you may be unaware of. These ladies are more than happy to provide feedback and give you suggestions on ways to improve your body language.