For some people, talking dirty comes as naturally to them as breathing. They know exactly what to say to turn you on and they know just when to say it. They never seem stuck for the perfect thing to say, making it all seem very natural. Then there are some who have such difficulty with dirty talk that the mere suggestion of it makes them panic in case they say something so outrageous that their partner just gets up and walks away.
That really isn’t likely to happen, but it doesn’t stop the panic. So, here on the Escort England blog we have put together four simple tricks for talking dirty without taking things too far. Try them out and see if they work for you, or suggest your own on the Escort England forum.
If you spend too much time getting worked up about the fact that you find dirty talk challenging to do, you are going to make the situation a lot worse than it needs to be. I mean really, what is the worst that will happen if you get it wrong? You might end up damaging your pride, but that it is.
Instead of working yourself up into a frenzy, take the time to relax. Having a cheeky wank beforehand can actually help a lot, as you’ll be able to let out your frustration and do something fun at the same time.
If that doesn’t work for you, take a cold shower. Showers are the perfect place to think, and you might actually come up with some fantastic ideas for things to say. Just keep it simple to avoid taking things too far. If it is too hard to remember, it is probably too much.
People get so worried about the things they want to say that they forget what dirty talk is all about. It isn’t just about turning your partner on. That might be a part of it, but the main reason we do it is to share our kinky thoughts with our partner… so let yourself fantasise.
Think of the hottest sex dream that you have ever had. Think about every single moment of it, each saucy detail, and tell you partner about it. Even if it wasn’t about them, they don’t need to know that. The most important thing is that you have an idea that turns you on, and if it turns you on, it’ll probably turn them on too.
You might be one of those people who very rarely has sex dreams, and so cannot describe the hot and steamy scene you thought of late at night to them. It might even be that you are convinced they won’t enjoy the scene that you describe to them, and so you are looking for a hot and saucy alternative to get them in the mood. You already have everything you need to do that.
Instead of dreaming up a fantasy, think about the last time the two of you had really amazing sex. It might have been recently, or perhaps even a while ago, but tell them about it. Describe what the hottest moment of it was, and how much they turned you on. As they will remember the moment, they will fantasise too and you will have a lot of fun describing each moment to them. They might even remember some parts a little differently, and so you can re-enact it to see what happens.
One of the worst things that you can do when trying to talk dirty is to do all of the work, and yet a shocking amount of people do this. They feel like it is all down to them to get their partner in the mood, but it isn’t! You have to take it in turns in order to have a hot dirty talk session, otherwise it simply isn’t any fun at all.
If you are finding it hard to share the fun, try saying only one sentence at a time. It can be tricky to get used to, but it will stop you going too far. For example, instead of describing the way you pull down her panties, thrusting your fingers at her clit and eat her out for half an hour, tease her as you would if you were actually doing it.
Describe the way you would slowly run your hands down her body until you reach her panties… and then stop. Give her the chance to describe the way her body shakes to your touch and she starts to pant as you stroke her body. It will be much more fun for you both.
Don’t forget to take action!
All of this dirty talk to good for one thing, and that is getting you and your partner in the mood. Yet so many people get caught up in the story that they are telling that they will jump straight to sex afterwards and it’ll all be over in a matter of minutes.
If that is what you want to do, go for it, but there is something far better you can do afterwards… and that is to take action and actually enact the very thing you have been talking dirty about!
You’ve already described every single thing that you want to do to your partner, and you will know their response simply by what they say. See how many of the details you can remember in the moment. Get your partner to tell you what you said you’d do next so that you can hear her describe it as you do it. You’ll be in for a night of passion!
Got some tips of your own that you want to share? Visit the Escort England forum and join in the discussion there, or tell us what you’d like to read about next on the Escort England blog.
Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.
In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.